Noise Shark Media
Crazy now comes in a bite sized treat
Playing War: Sun Tzu’s Ancient Text in Computer Strategy Games
Aug 2nd
Harvesting. Unit Cap. The “Zerg Rush.” All terms synonymous with the real-time strategy genre of computer games. Since Dune II laid the foundations for generations of time-wasters, dozens of iterations based on tactical know-how have emerged from developers’ dens. However, with every variation, a question arises from the ashes of slain enemies: does this game actually utilize actual strategy? Can we use knowledge gained from classical texts to aid us in our battle against those unholy fiends? To this end, we will compare modern strategy games to the father of all treatise on warfare: The Art of War
Careful, this is a long one. Pictures will be incoming later.
More >
Avenge Me!: A Captain America Review
Jul 25th
Ah, the 1940s…a simpler time when a gallon of gas was 11 cents, the moon was still a distant, unknown world made of green cheese, and Nazis were so damn easy to kill! And even 70 years later, we can’t get enough Nazi killing, so if someone were to ask for a bare-bones mathematical equation for why Captain America: The First Avenger is worth watching, I’d tell them: Superhero + Nazi killing = awesome! And that is exactly what Captain America is, awesome!
To be fair, it’s not technically “Nazis” that we’re dealing with but HYDRA, the occult/science division of Hitler’s Third Reich led by one Johann Schmidt, a.k.a. The Red Skull, played deftly by Hugo Weaving. Schmidt takes Hitler’s belief in the occult one step further, destroying a temple in Norway to get a hold of the Tesseract, the “prize of Odin’s treasure room,” a cube of immeasurable power that could potentially turn the tide of the war and change the course of history.
In response to the powerful threat of HYDRA, the United States military pushes through with the Super Soldier program, looking for a viable candidate to test the latest version of the serum. The man chosen: 90-pound weakling Steve Rogers, brought to life beautifully by Chris Evans. After numerous attempts to join the army and fight in the war, Steve catches the attention of Dr. Abraham Erskine (the wonderfully understated Stanley Tucci) after an argument between Steve and his best friend James “Bucky” Barnes (Sebastian Stan) over Steve’s desire to serve his country in battle despite his lack of physical prowess. Inspired by Steve’s patriotism and dislike of bullies, Erskine recruits Steve and selects him to be the project’s human test subject, ultimately creating Captain America.
BEWARE! SPOILERS AHEAD!
I’ll be honest, I was skeptical of how Marvel was going to make this movie without saturating it with the gung-ho attitude of American patriotism during WWII. While it would be consistent with the time period, international audiences may not appreciate such a pro-America, fuck everyone else, tone that could have easily been the result in the hands of less experienced filmmakers. But screenwriters Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely and director Joe Johnston maintain the style and sensibility of WWII America by making the film a fairly consistent homage to WWII movies that happens to include a superhero origin story.
Johnston in particular knows what he’s doing with this time period. Best known for directing The Rocketeer, Johnston has had a great deal of experience dealing with stylized period pieces including The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, October Sky, Hidalgo, and as art director for Raiders of the Lost Ark. With the challenge of directing a movie about a nationalistic hero, Johnston aptly keeps the film moving between action and adventure, superhero origin, and war movie while 
simultaneously reminding you, whether subtly or outright in your face, that this story takes place during the 1940s. One of my favorite sequences is Johnston’s montage devoted to classic 1940s Cap including chorus girls, theme music, and Hitler-punching in all its glory! Not only is it entertaining, but it moves the story along, giving us yet more insight into Steve Rogers. Though he’s physically capable of fighting, Steve would willingly play the part of a dancing monkey dressed as the character of Captain America in order to serve his country.
The action sequences are fantastic! From a rousing chase scene through the streets of Brooklyn to the end fight between Steve and Red Skull, Johnston makes you feel every punch and keeps the fighting grounded and believable. No karate for Cap! Just elbows, knees, and gut punches! The many ways in which the shield is used serves to emphasize Cap as a strategist. Each time the shield is thrown is exciting and with purpose and it’s amazing how the simple act of throwing a shield can be so engaging without becoming tiresome or overused.
Markus and McFeely also deserve praise for constructing a superhero origin story that is freshly entertaining and does the job of actually making you care about the main character. By spending the first quarter of the movie with 90-pound weakling Steve Rogers, the audience is privy to a man without power, but brimming with immense conviction and courage. Steve embodies the sensibilities of a 40s man, one who wants to do what’s right because he is inherently good. It’s the reason he wants to go to war and the reason Dr. Erskine chooses Steve above all other physically capable soldiers. If, by the time Steve becomes a super soldier with rippling pectorals, you’re not rooting for him, then you, my friend, are without a soul!
The cast itself deserves just as much praise for delivering solid performances throughout the film. Chris Evans carries this 
film on the back of his bulked out shoulders. Compared to his previous foray into superhero movies as The Fantastic Four’s Human Torch/Johnny Storm, Evans is downright subtle in his portrayal of Steve Rogers. A lot of this stems from Evans setting the tone of Steve Rogers as a somewhat socially awkward weakling and maintaining that awkwardness even when he becomes an Adonis-like figure. The ever-present “aw shucks” grins coupled with frequent apologies for his inability to talk to women are endearing and make Steve more relatable. Compared to Robert Downey, Jr.’s charismatic performance in Iron Man, Evans charisma is far more understated without being bland. Whereas Tony Stark is all bombast and cynicism, Steve Rogers is an idealist with the ability to crack a joke and their eventual interaction in The Avengers already has me excited!
Backing Evans up is an amazing roster of characters and actors. Sebastian Stan’s Bucky Barnes (thankfully updated from teen sidekick to Steve’s best friend) is both protector and soldier. His friendship with Steve drives
most of the movie and provides the impetus for Steve’s rise as Captain America when he finds out Bucky’s regiment has been taken captive. Hopefully, we’ll get to see more of Bucky in future installments and with Joe Johnston teasing a desire to adapt the Winter Soldier storyline from the comics, it’s fair to say that Bucky’s “death” is far from permanent. Stanley Tucci as Dr. Abraham Erskine is wonderfully playful, but carries the weight of a German defector searching for an end to the war. Scenes between Erskine and Steve are especially poignant when Erskine reveals his reasons for choosing Steve for the experiment. On par with Uncle Ben’s advice to Peter Parker, Erskine’s “a weak man knows the value of strength” is just as powerful an adage.
On the military side of things, Tommy Lee Jones plays Tommy Lee Jones Colonel Chester Phillips, the no-nonsense, take-charge kind of military leader that shows up in most war and/or superhero movies. But Jones still manages to bring in an entertai
ning performance. How could you honestly hate Tommy Lee Jones? How? Backing Cap up in the field are the Howling Commandos: ‘Dum Dum’ Dugan (Neal McDonough, complete with bowler-hat helmet), Gabe Jones (Derek Luke), Jim Morita (Kenneth Choi), James Montgomery Falsworth (JJ Field), and Jacques Dernier (Bruno Ricci). Though they don’t get a lot of time on screen, their presence emphasizes Cap’s ability to be a team player and the camaraderie he developed with the soldiers that solidified his legend.
As the lone female character, Hayley Atwell’s Agent Peggy Carter exudes strength and sexiness without being exploited. Her romance with Steve builds throughout the movie and tragically ends in a moving sequence that pushes the audience to mourn what could have been for Steve and Peggy, especially at the end of the movie. And special mention goes to Dominic Cooper for his fantastic portrayal of Howard Stark, Tony Stark’s father. As a Howard Hughes-type mogul, Stark is as affab
ly arrogant as his future son, which can only lead to more interactions between Tony and Steve!
And as far as the villains go, it’s impossible not to praise Hugo Weaving as Johann Schmidt/The Red Skull. From the first moment he’s on screen, Weaving is a presence to be reckoned with. His insanity and desire for perfection as a God among humans inject just enough instability to leave a question mark on what his next move will be. And Toby Jones as Dr. Arnim Zola is the rare cowardly villain under the thumb of The Red Skull, but still creepily evil i
n his own right.
The movie, however, is far from perfect. Some of the special effects are a little dodgy, especially during the first part of the movie with skinny Steve Rogers. Though the filmmakers did a lot of forced perspective tricks to make Chris Evans look shorter, they ultimately relied on digitally shrinking and shaving in the finished product. Don’t get me wrong, in the some of the scenes it’s seamless and really well done, but there’s the odd scene or two where it’s just really obvious that the scene was messed with digitally.
There are very few interactions between Red Skull and Captain America for my liking. Though the characters are talked about by the other and the actions of Red Skull drive Cap to the finale of the movie, I wish there had been more scenes between the two that allowed them to build up just why Red Skull seems to hate Steve Rogers so much. Throughout the movie it just feels like he hates him because it’s in the script. At least Steve’s got a reason! And then there’s the HYDRA soldiers running around with guns that are just a little too futuristic. A little nitpicky, I know, but I would expect more 1940s sci-fi guns instead of weapons that look like they belong in modernly futuristic setting.
Overall, Captain America is a fun and well made superhero movie. Though it’s yet another origin story, it’s one I was happy to see made. And if you stick around for the end credit sequence, you will not be disappointed!
But what did you think? Did Cap inspire you? Ready to go out and punch Hitler in the face?
Moaning Lisa: New Feelings on an Old Episode
Jul 21st
I’ve been mulling this one around in my head for some time now, mostly because I wasn’t sure if this was something I necessarily wanted to share with people, but fuck it, a blog is nothing if not a platform for narcissism, so here I go!
For my and the preceding generation, The Simpsons was appointment television. At its best, the show lampooned the American Family with a combination of slapstick, satire, and sheer madness. As a kid, watching Homer fall down a canyon a couple times was hilarious. But as a teenager and an adult with a fair amount of education under my belt, references to movies, books(“Here’s the grapes. And here’s the wrath!”), music, history (“We had quitters during the Revolution, too. We called them…Kentuckians.”), and politics made me realize how smart the show was, which made me enjoy the show even more! Though, nowadays, the show makes me chuckle or smile every once and a while, there hasn’t been an episode since about 1998 that’s made me laugh from the gut and instilled in me the desire to quote it relentlessly.
And quote it I do! A lot! Fortunately, I’ve managed to find a group of friends with a 
similar inclination and nothing makes me happier than walking into a room, speaking the smallest piece of a Simpsons quote and knowing someone’s going to pick it up and finish the quote or laugh their ass off because I’ve reminded them of that particular episode. And thus begins either a discussion of how freakin’ awesome The Simpsons is or a sharing of quotes. Either way, fun to be had by all!
And while I could probably write a whole blog devoted to how great The Simpsons is, that’s not the point of this article. Instead, I’d like to talk about what happened after a viewing of an episode I hadn’t seen in years: Moaning Lisa.
The plot, for those who haven’t seen it or those who need a refresher, is split between the A Story and the B Story. In the A Story: Lisa is dealing with an existential crisis. She wakes up and just feels sad, unable to muster even the smallest bit of interest in anything. Unable to express herself and her feelings to her family, she finds an outlet through jazz with the help of Bleeding Gums Murphy. The B Story focuses on Homer’s obsessive competition with Bart over a boxing videogame. The B Story is there to balance out the A Story with a heavy dose of humor because the A Story is especially hard-hitting on an emotional level…at least it was for me this time around.
I don’t watch The Simpsons as religiously as I used to. Though I catch the occasional rerun, I usually have to wait a while until the station gets back to the earlier episodes since I have little interest in watching reruns of the newer seasons. And even then, I tend to avoid the first two seasons of The Simpsons mostly due to the rough animation, which is hard to watch sometimes. However, on this particular night, after a long day at work, I decided to just leave the show on in the background even if it was from the first season.
And I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen. From the moment Lisa sighs her way through a day at school, uncaring, searching for an outlet through music only to be squashed creatively by her music teacher to the friendship she forms with Bleeding Gums Murphy, I could not focus on anything but the episode. Something clicked in my head and I felt the deepest and most sincere empathy for Lisa because, at one point in my life, I was just like her.
I’m not saying I was an eight-year-old genius with a talent for music. No, like Lisa, I too experienced undefined sadness. Coupled with some anger issues, my teenage years, let’s say…13 to 19, were not the happiest years of my life. I was fairly sensitive, hadn’t quite formed the thicker skin I sport now, had few if any friends, and some unresolved bullshit from my childhood decided to creep its way into my psyche at the most inopportune moment. Needless to say, there were several days that resulted in me bursting into tears for no apparent reason. And it freaked me out! I have some control issues (okay, a lot!), so a three-day crying jag that had, at the time, no discernable origin did nothing but exacerbate my sadness and anger. And thus, a vicious cycle was formed! And though I am a sensitive control freak, I am similarly, if not more so, stubborn as all hell! So, after a year of therapy and dealing with what was really bothering me head on, I stopped being sad all the time and the anger subsided…somewhat. I became a happier person for it, able to enjoy life more and roll with the punches.
So, with those experiences behind me and learned from, I was shocked at how easily I identified with Lisa and her struggle to find happiness. The episode aired on February 11, 1990, four days after I turned six-years-old, but only now, two decades later, do I truly understand. When Homer tries to tell Lisa to stop playing her saxophone and she bursts into tears simply because she’s sad, my heart ached because I was once Lisa in that moment.
Homer and Marge equally remind me of the struggles of not only my parents, but most parents with a child going through a similar ordeal. Homer attempts to help Lisa the only way he knows how: bouncing her on his knee and trying to wash over her sadness with advice only a father can give to a child experiencing something he doesn’t quite understand. 
In the same scene mentioned above, when Homer is about to tell Lisa to stop playing her saxophone, when Lisa bursts into unexplained tears the sheer devastation on Homer’s face is heartbreaking. It’s a father who doesn’t know how to help his daughter who’s obviously in pain. And the only thing Homer can do is tell Lisa to keep playing. Marge, though her intentions are good, tries to force Lisa into smiling for the day, hoping that the outside will eventually influence the inside…and take the heat off Marge for maybe being a bad mother according to some advice Mother Bouvier gave her when she too was a sad little girl. But when Marge witnesses how her daughter is mistreated just for being herself, she reneges her earlier advice and says to Lisa:
“Lisa, I apologize to you, I was wrong, I take it all back. Always be yourself. If you want to be sad, honey, be sad. We’ll ride it out with you. And when you get finished feeling sad, we’ll still be there. From now on, let me do the smiling for both of us.”
It’s the sagest advice any parent can give their child and it reminds me of many conversations I had with my own mother. Never did she tell me to knock it off or suck it up. My mother let me be sad, hopeful and confident that I would figure things out eventually. And I’m all the better for it because I had someone in my corner who understood. 
What it boils down to is it’s less about the cartoon and more about the experiences that have shaped me into the person that I am today. Had I not gone through what I went through, I wouldn’t have felt as strongly as I do about the episode. And for a cartoon to create what is essentially the first Lisa-centered episode based around the character’s inherent sadness and struggle for acceptance is gutsy, to say the least. But it’s satisfying to know that, before the zaniness of later episodes, the creators and writers of The Simpsons wanted Lisa’s perspective to always be slightly left-field of her family, yet still identifiable to the viewing audience. More so, I think, then Bart, Lisa Simpson is iconic for the struggles she faces and more clearly defines the feelings of a generation then her lovable scamp of a brother.
So, there you have it. It’s possible I’m over-thinking the matter or over-analyzing the episode, but it means something to me to share this with others. The fact that The Simpsons can still speak to me as a (mostly) mature adult gives me a greater appreciation for a show that is more than just a cartoon but a mainstay for anyone in need of laughs, wit, and heart.
But what about the rest of you out there? Ever come across something and identify with it more as an adult? Thoughts on the Simpsons? Always glad to get feedback!
It’s Not Easy Being Green: A Green Lantern Movie Review
Jun 22nd
I’ve come to realize, since the b
eginning of the summer movie season, that my reviews of superhero movies resemble the swing of a pendulum. I’ve been ridiculously harsh, surprisingly forgiving, and easily entertained. A lot of this appears to be dependent on my familiarity with whatever hero or heroes are the subject of the movie and whether or not the filmmakers find a way to keep me entertained despite obvious plot holes, CGI abuse, and an actor or two with questionable acting abilities. If you’ve been keeping track (and why wouldn’t you?), then you’re quite aware that I’m at an even count. With Thor I had very little knowledge of the comic book, but was entertained nonetheless. And with X-Men: First Class I was very familiar with the comics and found much to be desired in the way of entertainment. Though neither was a perfect movie, when I think back on how I felt after the credits rolled, Thor strikes a positive chord reminding me of how much fun I had.
Such is the case with Green Lantern. Though what follows may be highly critical, make no mistake, I was entertained by this movie and I encourage anyone who hasn’t seen it to go out and do so!
BEWARE!! From here on out spoilers abound!
The plot of Green Lantern is fairly straightforward: A race of immortals known as the Guardians, in order to maintain order and justice in the universe, forged rings powered by the green energy of will. They split the universe into thousands of sectors, bestowing a ring on a worthy recipient within each sector capable of exhibiting fearlessness. Thus the Green Lantern Corps was formed. As our movie begins, Parallax (voice of Clancy Brown), an amorphous cloud that feeds on fear, mortally wounds a member of the Corps, Abin Sur (Temuera Morrison). Crash landing on Earth, Abin Sur’s ring chooses a worthy successor, the human Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds). Hal, now a member of the Green Lantern Corps, must stop Parallax from devouring Earth’s population and prove that even a human is worthy of being a Green Lantern.
Ask not what Sector 2814 can do for you...
That’s it in a nutshell. The problem lies in the filmmakers’ unfortunate choice to cram an overstuffed burrito of Green Lantern mythos down our windpipes until we choke! What should have been a simple story of a man proving himself worthy by overcoming fear is reduced to a cavalcade of characters and plot lines that neither add to nor sustain the story.
The Good:
The cast is phenomenal! Ryan Reynolds IS Hal Jordan. Despite some reservations in the beginning, I was thoroughly impressed by Reynolds’s portrayal of one of the most beloved Green Lanterns. He brings the right amount of emotional maturity and levity to make Hal’s journey well worth watching. Nothing makes me happier then the scene where Hal gets to fly for the first time as a Green Lantern. Sans the cumbersome machinery of jets and planes required on Earth, Reynolds perfectly captures Hal’s joy in experiencing pure flight. And with the added responsibility of acting as a substitute for the audience, Reynolds showcases Hal’s fear, wonderment, and the newfound weight of responsibility resting on his shoulders with the acting prowess he’s always been capable of. A lot of the flack thrown at the movie has been specifically geared toward Reynolds, which I do not understand at all. Van Wilder was a long time ago, people, time to let it go.
Freaky isn't it?
Mark Strong as Sinestro, Hal’s friend/mentor and greatest foe, is fantastic with what little time he’s given on screen. He commands the attention not only of the Green Lanterns, but of the audience. If ever you wanted an example of page-to-screen interpretation, open a Green Lantern comic and look at Mark Strong. Enough said! As the Earth-bound villain Hector Hammond, Peter Sarsgaard gives an outstandingly creepy performance. And as the alien Lanterns Kilawog and Tomar-Re, Michael Clark Duncan and Geoffrey Rush give pitch perfect performances to their woefully brief roles.
I’d also like to add that Blake Lively as Hal’s on-again-off-again girlfriend/boss Carol Ferris isn’t bad. Granted, there are some shaky lines throughout the movie and she’s more or less reduced to the “superhero girlfriend” role, but she gets a couple good scenes that elevate her above most female characters in the superhero genre. In particular, Carol gets to do the scene that always plays out in your head when you think about superheroes and their “disguises.” How in the world the people closest to the hero can’t recognize him when he puts on a little domino mask is beyond me, and Carol quickly discovers Hal’s secret identity while he tries to play suave superhero after saving her life. To quote one of the best lines in the film: “I’ve seen you naked! Did you think I wouldn’t recognize you because I can’t see your cheekbones!?”
Above all else, the special effects are amazingly gorgeous. Similar to the sweeping landscape of Asgard in Thor, the scope of Oa, the home planet and base of the Green Lanterns, is spectacular. And though our time on the planet is brief, Hal’s first flight with Tomar-Re gives us just enough of a taste to hope for more if a sequel happens. And I absolutely LOVE the constructs! They were potentially the pieces of the puzzle that could have positioned Green Lantern as another hokey superhero movie, but all of the constructs appear realistic and carry the personality of their creators from Kilawog’s star to Hal’s fighter jets.
The Disappointing (previously, The Bad):
I’d hate to categorize anything as “bad” in this movie simply because most of what doesn’t work isn’t terrible, but wasted potential.
Hal’s character arc is uneven throughout most of the movie. While we’re given a flashback of Martin Jordan, Hal’s father’s, death, we never truly get the emotional payoff required to justify Hal’s fears. One of the problems is the lack of a legitimate threat in Parallax. As a creature that feeds off of the fear of others, Parallax is more psychological than physical, which should have sparked a greater internal struggle with Hal towards the end. You want to rattle your hero? Then have Parallax create a construct of his father berating him, preying off his fears of disappointment and disapproval. We’re also introduced to Hal’s brothers and nephew, but the scenes are purely to set up Hal’s reckless behavior and they’re quickly thrown to the wayside. Doesn’t Hal worry about the rest of his family? What’s emotionally at stake for him if they’re in danger?
What seems to be prevalent throughout the movie are a lot of storyline setups that slough off or go nowhere. Midway through the movie we’re supposed to accept that Hector Hammond, Hal Jordan, and Carol Ferris knew each other as children, but there is nothing previously shown or stated to make us believe such things to be true! And then we’re supposed to believe, in the last twenty minutes of the movie, that Hector’s been in love with Carol his whole life? Based on what? A couple of faraway glances and some hair sniffing? That sets Hector up as more of a creepy stalker then a childhood friend gone awry. And while I appreciate the filmmakers trying to set up a parallel between Hector and Hal and their obvious “daddy issues,” Hector’s appearance in the film is unnecessary. Infected with remnants of Parallax during an autopsy of Abin Sur, Hector does little more than wail like a banshee and whip people around with his telekinetic powers. The time spent on him takes away from other plot points that could have been more effectively fleshed out.
So that's how all the plot holes happened
The use of Oa and the other Lanterns is too little for my liking. In a movie about a guy who becomes an intergalactic cop, I’m surprised we the film didn’t spend more time in space or on Oa. Setting up Hal’s Earth-bound relationships in order to tie him to humanity is all well and good, but what better way to emphasize Hal’s humanity then to surround him with aliens on an alien world? Hal’s training with Kilawog and Tomar happens in all of five minutes and, in this case, at least a training montage should have been required. Not only could you showcase Kilawog’s brutal training style, but it gives the audience a chance to witness Hal in a vulnerable position that he overcomes through sheer will and determination. That and more spectacular constructs! Focusing more on the Earth-bound relationships pushes the brilliance of the Lanterns to the backburner when they should be front and center. What suffers most is the mentor/student/friendship between Hal and Sinestro. This is a crucial plot point for future movies and well as a significant emotional arc for both characters, but it feels squandered in this movie.
But my most legitimate gripe with this movie is the use of the Green Lantern Oath. The oath is the Corps’s code, its creed, its statement of purpose. When times seem most dour and fear engulfs them, Lanterns use the oath as a rallying cry, a source of strength that empowers them mentally and physically. And with the two times it’s used one is wasted and the other is misused. What should be the hero’s moment of triumph is unearned thanks to patchy story-telling and choppy editing.
Overall:
I really enjoyed this movie, but it wasted its potential to be one of the greats. I sincerely hope that we see a Green Lantern sequel because the movie has, at the very least, laid a foundation where a better movie can be built.
But what did you think? Did you like Green Lantern? Should they get a sequel?
Movie Review: X-Men: First Class
Jun 6th
I’m underwhelmed by X-Men: First Class. Critics, thus far, have been fairly positive on the movie, and I tried very hard to go into the movie with an open mind and not carry with me the cynicism developed from four preceding movies. But I came out of the movie incapable of mustering anything more than a big sigh and a “Meh.” It’s not a bad movie, but it’s not a great movie either. When the dust settles, I think First Class will rank high for Marvel fans, but up against other hard-hitting superhero movies, it’s middling at best. This is unfortunate because the potential was there the whole time for the film to surpass what had come before, but due to lack of creativity and Fox Studio’s inability to stop beating a dead horse, First Class serves as a confusing prequel that lacks the palpable tension of The Dark Knight as well as the fun of Iron Man or Thor.
The X-Men function as both the enduring metaphor of the Civil Rights Movement and as champions for persecuted minorities and counter cultures. The universal appeal of the X-Men lies in the simplest of concepts. At some point in our lives any one of us has felt alone and misunderstood. For most, it’s during our teenage years when we straddle the lines of childhood and adulthood trying to conform while simultaneously expressing our individuality. The X-Men go through the same ordeal only they have superpowers! Their struggle to exist, their need to fight back, and their desire for equality still have relevance in the 21st century.
First Class, however, attempts to take us back to when it all started: the 1960’s. Fitting since the first issue of X-Men came out in 1963 and beneficial since the 1960s was the setting for the tumultuous chaos of John F. Kennedy’s assassination, anti-war protests over Vietnam, and liberation movements for African-Americans, women, and homosexuals. The advent of mutant existence makes sense in this time period as it also sets up the philosophical dichotomy of Charles Xavier/Professor X (James McAvoy) and Erik Lensherr/Magneto (Michael Fassbender).
And this is where the movie really works. The friendship and eventual schism between Professor X and Magneto is significant to the X-Men universe in that it defines two equally powerful world views that have determined the loyalty of every character in the comics. Charles’s desires for peace through acceptance against Erik’s preemptive defense against extinction equally draw our sympathy and understanding. How they come to these conclusions is the heart and soul of the movie due to the strong performances of McAvoy and Fassbender. Scenes between the two are, for lack of a better word, magnetic. Fassbender is especially fantastic. His pain and suffering motivate him to avenge the death of his mother at the hands of Nazis, and one Nazi in particular. Erik’s rage fuels his abilities, but only after meeting Charles does be truly unlock his potential. The fact that this movie began with the script for a Magneto origin movie in the same vein as Wolverine, it’s not surprising that most, if not all, of the character development happens to Erik.
The rest of the movie is awash with a multitude of mutants amidst a convoluted plot involving the Cuban Missile Crisis. As with the previous X-Men films, First Class jams a bunch of mutants on the screen, but unlike X3: The Last Good Nerve (aka, X3: The Last Stand) the movie at least has limits, keeping it down to a handful of well known and mildly obscure characters. But despite a smaller cast to keep track of, the movie does very little in the way of character development. Drawn into the CIA by Agent Moira MacTaggart (Rose Byrne), Charles and Erik recruit a group of young mutants: Alex Summers/Havok, who can shoot ruby energy hula hoops, Angel Salvador/Angel, who has fly wings and acidic spit, Sean Cassidy/Banshee, with sonic abilities, Darwin, with the ability to adapt in order to survive, Hank McCoy/Beast, a brilliant scientist with ape-like feet who eventually becomes a blue, furry, cat-like creature, and Raven/Mystique, a shape-shifter and Charles’s childhood friend. These young mutants have to go up against former Nazi Sebastian Shaw, who can absorb energy and turn it back on people as raw force and power (he’s also the man who killed Erik’s mom) and his merry band of evil mutants: Emma Frost, a psychic who can make her skin turn to diamond, Riptide, with the ability to make tornados, and Azazel, a demonic-looking teleporter as they attempt to start World War III with the help of the Cuban Missile Crisis and a nuclear submarine.
Did ya get all that? Good, because that’s all the information the movie gives you about these people as well. Except Raven/Mystique, no other character is expanded upon. We don’t know who they are or how they feel, which makes the defection of a few to the other side uneventful and so insignificant that not even the other characters attempt to stop them. And the villains aren’t anything to scream home about either. While we wait for Magneto’s rise, we have to put up with Kevin Bacon’s smarmy Sebastian Shaw and his plans for world…domination? Destru
ction? It’s not all that clear, but it involves blowing up Russian and American ships and nuclear power. Shaw is far more frightening as a Nazi doctor and more effective as a villain when taunting Erik. Emma Frost, while a sexy, forceful and intelligent foe turned hero in the comics, is little more than an errand girl played flat and lifeless by January Jones. Maybe the producers were trying to cash in on Jones’s successful show Mad Men, but she lacks the presence necessary to bring Emma to life.
It becomes painfully obvious that this movie is more about serving the purpose of a prequel rather than attempting to tell an interesting and original story involving the X-Men. My major problems with this movie are the moments that remind you this is locked into the current film continuity of X-Men, X2: X-Men United, X3: The Last Stand, and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Cameos from Hugh Jackman and Rebecca Romijn tell you that the whole movie is
one big foregone conclusion. Who cares what happens since we already know the outcome. And regardless of the fact that the continuity makes even less sense with the addition of First Class, I feel like an opportunity was wasted on the part of the filmmakers to explore the X-Men universe without the burden of continuity hanging over their heads.
There are, however, positive aspects to the film. The inevitable training montage provides a good chunk of the film’s humor. And seeing a young, carefree Charles Xavier flirting with girls by using his telepathy is pretty hilarious, especially when he tries to use the same lines about mutation, while drunk, on Moira. The special effects are, by far, the best of any of the X-Men films. When Erik lifts a submarine out of the water, it looks real and you feel the weight of it as he pulls the massive hunk of metal.
Overall, maybe I expected too much. It’s entertaining enough, but I don’t think First Class itself will make much of an impact. Any sequels that result will only lead us closer and closer to what we already know to be the finale. The one thing I can say confidently is it was better than Wolverine!
But what did you think? Was this X-Men film better than the rest? Will they make a sequel-prequel?
Movie Review: Thor
May 10th
You have to give Marvel Studios credit; they’re doing their damnedest to build a reality shared by their major heroes in order to make the coming Avengers movie feel believable. Problematic to such a venture, however, is the reality in which these heroes occupy. Marvel heroes, for the most part, exist in our reality, which is why most of their heroes tend to operate in New York City instead of the imagined cities of Gotham or Metropolis (to be fair, though, Gotham is a real city in New York, but whether or not that was intentional is a matter of opinion). With that in mind, grounding their heroes in our reality is priority one if we, the viewers, are to believe they can all be mucking about the place saving lives and such.
What “The Secret World” Needs to Succeed
Mar 29th
MMORPGs are a dime-a-dozen these days. Just this year, Rift was released as the newest commercial roleplaying game, and Forsaken World was released late last year as the free-to-play time-killer. Turbine’s two top games have utilized micro-transactions to great effect complete with new free and paid updates to continue their business as a top competitor. Blizzard released its newest — and most popular — expansion for World of Warcraft. Warhammer, Age of Conan, Guild Wars and its sequel, Final Fantasy XI and XIV, DC Universe and City of Heroes/Villains, the upcoming Star Wars: TOR; this list goes on and on, without even counting the multitudes of free-to-play RPGs that have infected the market, nor the other genres directly affected by the trend like First Person Shooters, Real Time Strategy, etc.
Now we have another RPG entering the ring, but the developers promise it will be different. Not an unheard of statement, but hopefully they’re telling the truth.
Captain America Official Trailer
Mar 24th
Check out two and a half minutes of Captain America goodness!
Movie Review: Paul (Contains Spoilers!)
Mar 20th
A lot of reviews for Paul are prefaced with the author’s love of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz so as to indicate their admiration and respect for Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, as well as their love for director Greg Mottola’s previous film Superbad. All of this is said so they can heap their disappointment on Paul for not fulfilling some unspoken nerdly mission to do for science fiction what was done to zombie movies and buddy cop/action movies.
Update: New Wonder Woman Costume
Mar 18th
Take a good long look people. This is what goes for “non-campy” these days…
